Why It’s So Hard to Get Everyone on Board
Why does home maintenance feel like a never-ending battle? Learn what physics teaches us about family projects, and how to turn your next garage cleanout into a collaborative win.
Ever try to get your whole family excited about chores?
It starts with hope. Or perhaps a Pinterest board. But pretty soon, you’re navigating a swirling galaxy of differing opinions, shifting priorities, and straight-up resistance.
Turns out, there’s a name for this in physics: The Three-Body Problem.
What is the Three-Body Problem?
Other than a great book and TV show?
My family is huge fans of the Radiolab podcast. On the way to school this week, my son played the Zoozveepisode which is about how a mistake on a children’s poster led to the naming of a quasi-moon of Venus. It’s a fun listen. About halfway through the program, they introduced the mathematical conundrum known as the three-body problem. Basically, if you want to predict and understand the relationship between two orbiting bodies, we have math for that. No problem (well, no problem for them). The smarties out there can predict and understand how the gravities of the TWO bodies are pulling on each other. However, adding a third body? Forget about it. The math becomes impossible for anything beyond predicting short term movement.
How on earth does this relate to home maintenance?
I share a house with my husband and two kiddos. When I want to start a decluttering project or a home improvement project that involves them, I ask, beg, convince, manipulate, bully, etc. but I am not in control. Once other people enter into the equation, that’s it. I am not guaranteed I will get the outcome I want.
Even if I am working by myself, I am battling with all my various personalities – will Rita the Minimalist win or will it be Sentimental Rita, Practical Rita, or Lazy Rita?
If you want the project to actually get done, you need to acknowledge how all the differing facets of all the diffent personalities play into your vision. We are complicated beings – we can both minimalist and messy. Both sentimental and practical. When planning out projects, give a nod to each of those personalities. Allow yourself to be sentimental when needed and to be minimalist where needed. My desk needs to be minimalist. My bedroom? I like it cozy and to be surrounded by happy memories. It’s not my minimalist space. In the garage, I like confined chaos in certain spaces and a militant neatness in others.
Approximate trajectories of three identical bodies located at the vertices of a scalene triangle and having zero initial velocities. The center of mass, in accordance with the law of conservation of momentum, remains in place. Three-body problem – Wikipedia
Why it’s hard to get everyone on board
When working with others, it can be hard to share control of an idea. After all, we spent time thinking and researching it. We have Pinterest boards! We have notes! Plans! We have the perfect plan for the garage. We know just how our kid’s room should function. We have just the perfect idea for the bedroom. Everyone should respect the time and energy you spent on it, right? And if you are the parent, then you get to be the decider, right? But what happens when we show up like this? Others shut us down. It’s like pulling teeth to get the project moving. There is so much tension. Blah.
I invite you to slow down. Have you ever been railroaded? Been bullied into something? Doesn’t feel good. We humans love to share, be heard, and to collaborate. Funny though, because we kind of suck at it.
Does it mean it’s impossible? NOPE.
How to get everyone on board
Home projects aren’t just about tasks—they’re about shared vision. And most of us skip that part.
I highly recommend sitting down with your people and talking about vision before starting a decluttering or home improvement project (in my course, I have instructions on how to do this if you need help). If everyone is sharing the same, shared reasons and understands how the outcome relates to their own happiness, you are more likely to hold everyone’s attention throughout the project.
Letting go of perfect
While the first couple of times you practice relinquishing control, things might get messy. It takes practice. In the end, you will find that everyone in your family feels more love, respect, and there is a willingness to chip in. This includes you too. You may think that you had “the perfect” plan for the garage, but if you invite others in, you may end up with an even better plan AND find that your people are vested in the project.
Imagine yourself as one of the three celestial bodies—not controlling everyone else’s orbit, just dancing with them.
Make your orbit loving. Make it inviting. Let it be collaborative.
Want some support?
In the MainTenacious home maintenance course, we give step-by-step instructions for this exact conversation.
Because when people understand the “why,” they’re more likely to show up for the “how.”
✅ May Home Maintenance Checklist
Home Maintenance Tasks to Tackle This Month (Excerpted from the MainTenacious Course)
🔁 Reoccurring Home Maintenance Checks:
- Check water softener salt levels
- Replace your HVAC filter
- Remove weeds growing in concrete cracks
🛠️ Maintain
- How is the attic looking? Any pests, mold, mildew? Is air flowing through the soffits? How do things look structurally? Everything in good shape? Have enough insulation? Keep reading to learn more about what to look for.
- Time to check the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.
🧰 Prep
Haven’t been keeping up with home maintenance? Keep it simple and just do these tasks to start. These tasks are the one and done tasks you can do that will make future maintenance and DIY task so much easier.
- Tidy the garage. Either the whole thing or just around the water heater and circuit panel. Make a space to store items needed for home maintenance chores and air filters. Bonus if you clear enough space for a little work area.
- Label the circuit panel if it’s not labeled.
- Find and label the water and gas valves.
Skill of the Month: Mastering the Caulking Gun
This quick video tutorial is the only one you need to get smooth, mold-resistant caulk lines. (Check out the full silicone series too—chef’s kiss.)
Want to make it easier?
We built MainTenacious to help real people (with real lives) keep their homes running without burning out.
Inside the course:
- 📆 Seasonal calendars tailored to you
- 🧰 DIY instructions written for everyone
- 🫶 Supportive community